oh my fucking god
i somehow managed to cramp my ass from laughing so hard
whats the deal with old grandmas who get offended by the word penis but have like 11 kids
cause of death: too shy to call ambulance
Didn’t want to inconvenience anyone
There’s a book sitting in front of you.
In it contains all the bad things people have said about you behind your back, would you open it?
Hell fucking yeah
Read it so you can find out what people really have to say about you and how you can change your character to be a better person.
read it so you know what order to murder people in
two kinds of people
"52% of men say they’d stay with their girlfriend even if she got fat"
EVEN if she got FAT!?? wow… someone give these men a purple heart for their courage and bravery. truly inspiring. god forbid i ever get fat and have to put my boyfriend through the rough decision of whether to keep me around or not. but maybe if im lucky, he’ll be in that amazing 52%. what a world.
a list of reasons i would be the worst girlfriend ever
- extremely ticklish
- runs away from feelings
- also problems
- expects the world to be handed to her on a silver platter
- bad communicator
- awkward and shy around people i like
- refuses to make plans ever
- how do you even talk to boys i dont get it
- sarcastic asshole